Today’s the beginning of a new season: The season of returning to school; to routines and early bedtimes; to homework (ugh!) and endless streams of notifications, adding to my already jammed mind cluttered by information overload!
Last week was really hard. Each day was spent, taking the kids to sporting activities, back-to-school shopping, birthday parties and orthodontists. And worst of all – I HAD NO TIME OR STRENGTH TO PAINT!!! When I get all spent on the day-to-day grind of laundry and cooking and bla, bla, bla, I can quickly become Grumpy Mommy.
I’ve also been transitioning into a new season of sorts. That’s a season of surrender or as it often seems, daily deaths. This includes (but certainly not limited to!) the death of independence; where I now require help in many of life’s daily functions, such as getting up and down the staircase at home or with mobility in general. I don’t walk so well anymore so when we do the back-to-school-shopping the girls have to push me around in my wheelchair. They’re good sports about it all; too young to be concerned about how it looks to others and thankfully, grounded well enough in their Heavenly Father as well as their earthly father to not care. However, I am quick to become frustrated when we’re out and whoever is in charge pushes me past where I want to go. “Stop.” I say, but they keep on rolling. “Stop!!!”
I just hate that my nine year old is in more control of where I go then I am! I hate that I cannot control where I go, how long I get to look at something or the rate in which I travel! As you can see, I have not surrendered this control without a great many tears and tantrums. “I’m mad at hell and I don’t want to take it anymore!!!” I would cry. But, until my miracle is made manifest, I guess I have no choice. For now, the days of zipping out to pick something up from the market or running a quick errand is over. With that reality comes a host of not-so-pretty emotions: anger, self-pity, despondency… And those who are closest to me would rather I “change my attitude” and not emote on them. Really, it has been hard for us all.
What is so WONDERFUL, in the truest sense of the word, is that I can choose to take my eyes off of my crummy little circumstances and me, and fix my gaze on Jesus and all that He has done for me; I can set my mind on all that He promised; which has already been acquired, purchased and finished on the cross. Then my heart and my mind are guarded in such a way that no thing or circumstance can penetrate this “helmet of my salvation.”
Here’s some pretty good advice that the Apostle Paul gave to his friend, Timothy:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”
Now that’s just what The Great Physician ordered. I think I’ll take that and call on Him, first thing in the morning.
Thanks for checking in.