Last week was really hard. Each day was spent, taking the kids to sporting activities, back-to-school shopping, birthday parties and orthodontists. And worst of all – I HAD NO TIME OR STRENGTH TO PAINT!!! When I get all spent on the day-to-day grind of laundry and cooking and bla, bla, bla, I can quickly become Grumpy Mommy.

I’ve also been transitioning into a new season of sorts. That’s a season of surrender or as it often seems, daily deaths. This includes (but certainly not limited to!) the death of independence; where I now require help in many of life’s daily functions, such as getting up and down the staircase at home or with mobility in general. I don’t walk so well anymore so when we do the back-to-school-shopping the girls have to push me around in my wheelchair. They’re good sports about it all; too young to be concerned about how it looks to others and thankfully, grounded well enough in their Heavenly Father as well as their earthly father to not care. However, I am quick to become frustrated when we’re out and whoever is in charge pushes me past where I want to go. “Stop.” I say, but they keep on rolling. “Stop!!!”

I just hate that my nine year old is in more control of where I go then I am! I hate that I cannot control where I go, how long I get to look at something or the rate in which I travel! As you can see, I have not surrendered this control without a great many tears and tantrums. “I’m mad at hell and I don’t want to take it anymore!!!” I would cry. But, until my miracle is made manifest, I guess I have no choice.  For now, the days of zipping out to pick something up from the market or running a quick errand is over. With that reality comes a host of not-so-pretty emotions: anger, self-pity, despondency… And those who are closest to me would rather I “change my attitude” and not emote on them. Really, it has been hard for us all.

What is so WONDERFUL, in the truest sense of the word, is that I can choose to take my eyes off of my crummy little circumstances and me, and fix my gaze on Jesus and all that He has done for me; I can set my mind on all that He promised; which has already been acquired, purchased and finished on the cross. Then my heart and my mind are guarded in such a way that no thing or circumstance can penetrate this “helmet of my salvation.”

Here’s some pretty good advice that the Apostle Paul gave to his friend, Timothy:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

Now that’s just what The Great Physician ordered. I think I’ll take that and call on Him, first thing in the morning.

Thanks for checking in.

-nancy

As an artist, painting dogs and cats with their owners is a love of mine. I also enjoy owners who unravel their framed art to reveal a painted portrait of their beloved companions, like dogs, cats, horses, birds —even rats and guinea pigs. (But not all in the same painting!)

The bond between human and animal is special, and I find that in the loyal eyes of a pet is a personality (or an animality!) waiting to be captured on canvas –this is what this dog artist or cat artist enjoys most about painting.

I like to paint in pastels. Pastels have been known to outlast traditional oil paints in vibrancy and color sustainability. Plus after a couple generations oil paintings begin to crack, where pastels do not. However, a pastel painting must be put behind glass.

This will help preserve a pet painting or a dog portrait so that it can be handed down to many generations.

Next week we’ll be painting the big dogs…wolves. I’ve always been fascinated by wolves. Hope to post some new paintings soon for you to enjoy!

Truth is, I would rather be painting. Chris and I call it “pushing paint.” I really find that much of life encroaches in on that sacred time. Well, enjoy the site…leave some comments!

The more I try to quiet the voices in my head that “should all over me” by saying, “You should (be doing such and such)…” and the more I give myself permission to invest my limited time and energy to the study of my craft, all the more I abhor those seemingly trivial matters that take me away from my easel. Just ask my daughters who’ve endured my wrath as I spend that little time and energy picking up after all the clutter they deposit around our home!

Being that this is my introductory entry, I would like to take a moment to introduce myself in a way that I’ve not done so in About The Artist and the Painting Blog Roll is intended to be all about the business of painting. But the Personal Journal Blog Roll has more to do with the heart and I’m really looking forward to not only sharing my art with you, but also in sharing my heart.

So without further adieu, let me begin by saying, at this time, the predominant issue in my life is that in 2004 I began a battle with Multiple Sclerosis. Since June of 2008 it’s been an uphill battle. I’ve gradually lost function in my lower extremities as well as other unmentionable ravages that have resulted from this horrible disease. However, you will not hear me say, “I have MS” or “my MS bla bla bla…” simply because I want to have no part in this. MS does not define me. Even if others treat or view me otherwise as I hobble (or roll) around them. It is not the mantle in which I choose to wear. Most importantly it certainly is not and never was given to me by God, as some would suggest. No matter what brand of theology you may subscribe to, I vehemently refuse to blame my God or assign such evil to The One who has no evil in Him. He is The Father of Lights and the giver of every good and perfect gift which comes from Heaven (James 1:17). He is nothing short of perfect – in all things. My God is good – all the time!

Which leads me to the most important detail of who Nancy Conant is. I am a follower of Jesus. I love Jesus. I am not merely “a Christian” which sadly has become a pathetically diluted noun in Western culture today. But rather I am a disciple of Christ. He is the lover of my soul as well as the savior of my life, both in this life and the one yet to come. I believe He died, rose from the dead through God’s amazing power and that He has left his Holy Spirit with us in order to bring us to completion in receiving all that He promised through His New Covenant; which He established so that all who believe will be saved! And concerning MS? I am contending for all that He promised through the prophets who foretold of His coming. You can read what one of them said in the 53rd chapter of the Book of Isaiah:

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions,  He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

You might have figured out by now that He will flavor all that I say, because I literally live and have my being  because of Him. My prayer is that all that I say and do will bring honor to Him and be a fragrant aroma to Him.

It’s Sunday morning and my family is at church. And do you know what? I went to church too! Except my church experience this morning didn’t occur in a building built by human hands or alongside others. No. Instead, I hopped in my husband’s convertible and popped in some worship music. I drove to a quiet little spot where there’s a pond. There wasn’t a soul around. All was quiet and it was just me, the bugs and the glorious egret enjoying his morning meal.

It was so awesome to meet God in that place!!! As I worshiped Him all else faded away. They became mere shadows in light of Him and once again, all was well with my soul. I began with this beautiful love song to Him:

“I’ve come here again to meet you in this place
Not just to sing aloud these songs that give you praise
But I’ve come this time to bring you something pure/real
And I’ve come here now to bring you something (all my worship)
Chorus:
All of me I surrender
Everything to you
All I am and all that I am to become
Chorus: 2
All my worship All my praise
All my love to you I give
All my life and all my dreams
I surrender (all my worship)”

All My Worship” Lyrics
by Brian & Jenn Johnson | from the album We Believe

And as my heart was filled to overflowing with peace and joy, and I rested in His loving arms, this was the next song of praise I brought to Him:

“There is nothing like your presence here in this place
There is nothing like your passion that steals my heart away
There is nothing like your glory falling on me
More of you, less of me
I’m satisfied by you alone
Just one touch from you oh Lord
Reach within my heart and make it new
Oh I must have more of you
I must have more of you”

“More of You Less of Me” Lyrics
by Brian & Jenn Johnson | from the album We Believe

Finally, He left me with this beautiful proclamation of The Bridegroom’s love for me!

“I will draw you to me forever
In righteousness in justice and in mercy
I will draw you and me together
In loving kindness in faithfulness and in grace
No longer your master But your husband I will be
Chorus:
You have ravished my heart
With one glance of your eye
How fair is your love
My promised my bride”

“You Have Ravished My Heart” Lyrics
by Brian & Jenn Johnson | from the album We Believe

Church was great today. I got to meet with the Lover of my soul.

Thanks for checking in.
-nancy